3.26.2010
five things + quick update
Hello darlings! This has a been a really slow, quiet week. Cohen had his tumbling class today, he did so good! He listened and followed directions really well, and when he did lose interest and run away he came right back when I called him. It was a great morning, I'm so proud of him! We've spent a lot of time outdoors this week, it's been so beautiful outside. I also completed his Easter basket thanks to a recent shopping spree at Harry & David he's all set. Next week I have a cute and easy Easter craft planned for the kids I'll be sharing once we do it!
I'm going to leave you with some pretty photos of five things that I love. <3
1. This is so dreamy! I want to be at this campsite with Cohen and Dan asap! credit
2. Betty Draper <3
3. This show, probably one of the funniest shows I've ever seen! You have to watch it if you haven't seen it, I wish it still came on!
4. This magical boat fort.
5. This album: Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Cohen has an outdoor photoshoot scheduled for Sunday morning, I'm really excited, I hope it doesn't rain!
xxo!
I'm going to leave you with some pretty photos of five things that I love. <3
1. This is so dreamy! I want to be at this campsite with Cohen and Dan asap! credit
2. Betty Draper <3
3. This show, probably one of the funniest shows I've ever seen! You have to watch it if you haven't seen it, I wish it still came on!
4. This magical boat fort.
5. This album: Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Cohen has an outdoor photoshoot scheduled for Sunday morning, I'm really excited, I hope it doesn't rain!
xxo!
3.22.2010
Sunday was a really nice day, we celebrated spring by meeting some friends at the park, and flying kites. It was the first time Cohen has flown a kite (uhm me too) and it was a lot of fun! It was such a beautiful day out, I even let him frolic barefoot in the field (and ignored my fear of ring worms and other things seen on Monsters Inside Me), and he picked flowers and asked me to make a wreath for his head out of them. The kids shared Trader Joe's pretzels on the blanket and drank ice water. Cohen is so sweet, he kept sharing his water with the grass saying that he was "i so thirsty, but i gots to halp da grass growww". I don't have any pictures really because I was too busy joining in on the all the fun!
I got my necklace from Lisa Leonard! It's so amazing, I hate wearing jewelry, so much so that I rarely even wear my wedding ring. However besides to sleep and shower I haven't taken it off, and I hate to wear necklaces! It says cohen on one side, and my heart on the other. I tried to get a picture today but I looked really horrible in them so I'll have to take new ones.
Speaking of looking horrible, I lost 17 lbs in two and a half weeks before Dan came home last month... only to gain 24 lbs when he came home, because he insisted on eating out every day for breakfast lunch and dinner for two weeks. This became even more apparent when a friend took a candid photo of me at the park on Sunday and I looked huge. Not in like a "Aww I'm skinny but I'm feeling a little chubby but I wanna make a big deal out of nothing" way but a "Holy crap I'm 5 months pregnant" way. So, tomorrow, I'm going to stop slacking and get on it. Will I lose 20 lbs by this time next month? We shall see.
xxo
I got my necklace from Lisa Leonard! It's so amazing, I hate wearing jewelry, so much so that I rarely even wear my wedding ring. However besides to sleep and shower I haven't taken it off, and I hate to wear necklaces! It says cohen on one side, and my heart on the other. I tried to get a picture today but I looked really horrible in them so I'll have to take new ones.
Speaking of looking horrible, I lost 17 lbs in two and a half weeks before Dan came home last month... only to gain 24 lbs when he came home, because he insisted on eating out every day for breakfast lunch and dinner for two weeks. This became even more apparent when a friend took a candid photo of me at the park on Sunday and I looked huge. Not in like a "Aww I'm skinny but I'm feeling a little chubby but I wanna make a big deal out of nothing" way but a "Holy crap I'm 5 months pregnant" way. So, tomorrow, I'm going to stop slacking and get on it. Will I lose 20 lbs by this time next month? We shall see.
xxo
3.17.2010
My new comforter and sheets came today from Target. I am so pleased! I've looked at so many comforters lately and they've been cute, but I really wanted something simple. The material is just regular cotton, which is what I wanted. I don't like shiny bedding, I hate how it feels on my skin. Originally I wanted the gray, but I waited too long and it's sold out. When I first saw this blue online it was bright blue, but it had gotten negative reviews because apparently it is more gray then blue so I decided to buy it. It is definitely more gray, which makes me really happy. I have silvery gray sheets too! I can't wait to curl up in bed with a book tonight.
(my new laptop snuck in on the shot<3<3)
I recently got camera bag on my iphone and I'm obsessed with the instant camera looks, if you couldn't tell.
(my new laptop snuck in on the shot<3<3)
I recently got camera bag on my iphone and I'm obsessed with the instant camera looks, if you couldn't tell.
Being that it is St. Patrick's Day I think it's a great day to start our color poems (inspired by lets explore) I love lets explore! Anyway, he had a lot of fun naming things that are green and of course number one was Brobee. He also had to end it with yummy since he loves veggies so much! That's a clover pin we made at a playdate we had last week on the page, so cute.
He's getting much better at writing his name too as you can see. :)
He's getting much better at writing his name too as you can see. :)
3.15.2010
So I ordered something adorable from Silver Lining, Amber Filkin's etsy shop and it came in the mail today! I loved how she packaged it I just had to take a picture. (ps, really jealous of her handwriting!)
Aren't they so pretty? They are vintage clothespins with vintage dictionary pages on them! My mind is racing with all of these great ideas on how to use them in our new home!
I'm really excited to see what else she lists in her store, you should keep a close watch on it!
xxo
3.14.2010
The past few days have been crazy, with all my errands, my sickly baby, and my mom having the stomach flu. Cohen is so beat he passed out mid sentence tonight. I'm gonna relax now with some kombucha tea and read my new book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, basically it's about this girl talking about her working as a dominatrix during college, it's actually really good (as of the second chapter).
I can't sleep cos I'm scared to wake up sick, I accidentally ate beef today and even though it was a tiny bit I'm terrified I'm going to wake in excruciating pain and throw up all night, this happened like 7 years ago and it traumatized me. Ugh.
PS! Less than two hours left til I announce my giveaway winner! ;)
I can't sleep cos I'm scared to wake up sick, I accidentally ate beef today and even though it was a tiny bit I'm terrified I'm going to wake in excruciating pain and throw up all night, this happened like 7 years ago and it traumatized me. Ugh.
PS! Less than two hours left til I announce my giveaway winner! ;)
3.12.2010
explaining tantrums in toddlers + do's & don'ts
I know this is a bit lengthy, but it's a very good read if you get a chance! It's some notes taken from "The Science of Parenting", written by the director of London's Center for Child Mental Health:
Six main reasons for bad behavior:
1. Tiredness & hunger
2. Undeveloped emotional brain
- In young children, the higher brain is still very undeveloped, which means they can’t inhibit their primitive impulses to lash out, bite, or run and climb things all the time.
- The glutamate system in the frontal lobes enables us to have clearly defined thoughts & intentions. This system only starts to develop in the first year of life, so infants and toddlers lack the sophistication required to be deliberately naughty or manipulative.
3. Psychological hungers
- Stimulation hunger: the brain registers under stimulation as stress, prompting people to DO something to increase their arousal state. Adults turn on the radio; infants head-bang or crib-rock; toddlers run around screaming.
- Recognition hunger: this makes a child seek attention. Children need lots of attention for healthy brain development, and will instinctively turn to bad behavior if good behavior isn’t doing the trick.
- Structure hunger: Children need the structure of clear house rules and clear routines.
4. Needing help with a big feeling
- A big, painful feeling activates stress chemicals in a child’s brain, so ear-piercing outbursts are often a child’s way of relieving tension.
- If we help children deal with these feelings, instead of criticizing them for these lower-brain-triggered emotional outbursts, we can help their higher brain to develop the nerve pathways essential for natural regulation of feelings.
5. Picking up on your stress
- The right prefrontal part of a child’s brain can pick up emotional atmospheres in milliseconds. Children are deeply affected on a bodily and emotional level by stress or unhappiness in their family, while if you are calm, chances are your child will be as well. If there is tension in the home, your child may be unbearable.
6. You activate the wrong part of your child’s brain
- If you shout and issue endless commands, you could be activating the primitive RAGE and FEAR systems in the mammalian and reptilian parts of the brain. Lots of play, laughter and cuddles are likely to activate the brain’s PLAY and CARE systems, releasing calming opioids.
There are two types of tantrums, each needing a different response.
1. Distress tantrum (DT): you need to move toward the child with comfort and solace.
2. “Little Nero” tantrum (LNT): you need to move away from your child.
Brain activity is different between the two types of tantrums
- DTs: your child can’t think or speak clearly because his upper brain functions are hijacked by primitive emotional systems – all he can do is discharge his emotions.
- LNTs: Little Nero is using his upper lobes to produce behaviors that are calculated and deliberate, to get an intended result.
Distress Tantrums (DTs)
- DTs happen because essential brain pathways between a child’s higher brain and lower brain haven’t developed yet – these are necessary for managing big feelings.
- As a parent, your role is to soothe your child during these tantrums. If you get angry, he may stop crying, but this may mean that the FEAR system has been triggered, or he may have shifted to silent crying, which floods his brain with toxic levels of cortisol.
- When a child has a distress tantrum, you can see real anguish in his face – he needs comfort.
Handling DTs:
- Use simple, calm actions, or provide a simple choice.
- Distraction – this activates the SEEKING system, triggering high levels of dopamine, which reduces stress and triggers interest and motivation.
- Hold your child tenderly – only if you are calm though. Your mature bodily arousal system will help calm her immature one. You must feel calm and in control in order to help bring her body and brain back into balance, and release calming oxytocin and opioids.
- Some children prefer that you sit next to them, talking gently, as this allows them freedom to move.
- Avoid using Time-Outs during a DT. You wouldn’t walk away from a friend in emotional distress, so this is certainly not appropriate for children, who have far fewer emotional resources than adults, and who need your help establishing effective stress-regulating systems in the brain.
- Avoid putting a child in a room on his own. Although this may stop vocal crying, he may continue to cry internally – this silent crying is a worrisome sign that the child has lost faith that help will come, and in some people, this loss of faith can stay for life.
- Remind yourself that a child’s stress is genuine. A two-year old who screams because his toy was snatched is reacting to pain – a sense of loss activates the pain centers in the brain, causing agonizing opioid withdrawal.
- If DTs are repeatedly punished, the child switches off feelings of hurt because they are no longer safe to have – which has negative impacts on managing feelings in adulthood.
Little Nero Tantrums (LNTs)
- A child having a LNT doesn’t experience or show the anguish, desperation or panic that characterizes the DT, and doesn’t have stress chemicals flooding his brain and body.
- There is usually an absence of tears, and the child is able to articulate his demands and to argue when you say “no”.
Handling LNTs
- Do not provide an audience – if you are absolutely sure your child is not having a LNT, simply walk out of the room. It’s no fun if no one’s watching, so the LNT will stop.
- Don’t try to reason, argue or persuade – attention and words reward negative behaviors, taking your one step farther toward setting up a hot temper as a personality trait.
- Don’t “kiss it better” – this teaches that you reward rage with love.
- Do not negotiate – this is also rewarding controlling behavior. If a child discovers that rage works well in manipulating parents, he may continue to use it in adulthood.
- Give clear, firm “nos”, and try to manage your own rage.
- Deal firmly with your child’s commands. Give a clear, firm message about commands being unacceptable as a way of getting what you want.
- Distinguish between an LNT and a DT. Sometimes this can be difficult because one can run into the other. i.e. You say no to a LNT command – this “no” could cause your child grief, sending him into a grief reaction. If you feel his grief is genuine, he will need help with his feelings. The message is “I won’t respond to commands, but I will help if you are in pain”.
Six main reasons for bad behavior:
1. Tiredness & hunger
2. Undeveloped emotional brain
- In young children, the higher brain is still very undeveloped, which means they can’t inhibit their primitive impulses to lash out, bite, or run and climb things all the time.
- The glutamate system in the frontal lobes enables us to have clearly defined thoughts & intentions. This system only starts to develop in the first year of life, so infants and toddlers lack the sophistication required to be deliberately naughty or manipulative.
3. Psychological hungers
- Stimulation hunger: the brain registers under stimulation as stress, prompting people to DO something to increase their arousal state. Adults turn on the radio; infants head-bang or crib-rock; toddlers run around screaming.
- Recognition hunger: this makes a child seek attention. Children need lots of attention for healthy brain development, and will instinctively turn to bad behavior if good behavior isn’t doing the trick.
- Structure hunger: Children need the structure of clear house rules and clear routines.
4. Needing help with a big feeling
- A big, painful feeling activates stress chemicals in a child’s brain, so ear-piercing outbursts are often a child’s way of relieving tension.
- If we help children deal with these feelings, instead of criticizing them for these lower-brain-triggered emotional outbursts, we can help their higher brain to develop the nerve pathways essential for natural regulation of feelings.
5. Picking up on your stress
- The right prefrontal part of a child’s brain can pick up emotional atmospheres in milliseconds. Children are deeply affected on a bodily and emotional level by stress or unhappiness in their family, while if you are calm, chances are your child will be as well. If there is tension in the home, your child may be unbearable.
6. You activate the wrong part of your child’s brain
- If you shout and issue endless commands, you could be activating the primitive RAGE and FEAR systems in the mammalian and reptilian parts of the brain. Lots of play, laughter and cuddles are likely to activate the brain’s PLAY and CARE systems, releasing calming opioids.
There are two types of tantrums, each needing a different response.
1. Distress tantrum (DT): you need to move toward the child with comfort and solace.
2. “Little Nero” tantrum (LNT): you need to move away from your child.
Brain activity is different between the two types of tantrums
- DTs: your child can’t think or speak clearly because his upper brain functions are hijacked by primitive emotional systems – all he can do is discharge his emotions.
- LNTs: Little Nero is using his upper lobes to produce behaviors that are calculated and deliberate, to get an intended result.
Distress Tantrums (DTs)
- DTs happen because essential brain pathways between a child’s higher brain and lower brain haven’t developed yet – these are necessary for managing big feelings.
- As a parent, your role is to soothe your child during these tantrums. If you get angry, he may stop crying, but this may mean that the FEAR system has been triggered, or he may have shifted to silent crying, which floods his brain with toxic levels of cortisol.
- When a child has a distress tantrum, you can see real anguish in his face – he needs comfort.
Handling DTs:
- Use simple, calm actions, or provide a simple choice.
- Distraction – this activates the SEEKING system, triggering high levels of dopamine, which reduces stress and triggers interest and motivation.
- Hold your child tenderly – only if you are calm though. Your mature bodily arousal system will help calm her immature one. You must feel calm and in control in order to help bring her body and brain back into balance, and release calming oxytocin and opioids.
- Some children prefer that you sit next to them, talking gently, as this allows them freedom to move.
- Avoid using Time-Outs during a DT. You wouldn’t walk away from a friend in emotional distress, so this is certainly not appropriate for children, who have far fewer emotional resources than adults, and who need your help establishing effective stress-regulating systems in the brain.
- Avoid putting a child in a room on his own. Although this may stop vocal crying, he may continue to cry internally – this silent crying is a worrisome sign that the child has lost faith that help will come, and in some people, this loss of faith can stay for life.
- Remind yourself that a child’s stress is genuine. A two-year old who screams because his toy was snatched is reacting to pain – a sense of loss activates the pain centers in the brain, causing agonizing opioid withdrawal.
- If DTs are repeatedly punished, the child switches off feelings of hurt because they are no longer safe to have – which has negative impacts on managing feelings in adulthood.
Little Nero Tantrums (LNTs)
- A child having a LNT doesn’t experience or show the anguish, desperation or panic that characterizes the DT, and doesn’t have stress chemicals flooding his brain and body.
- There is usually an absence of tears, and the child is able to articulate his demands and to argue when you say “no”.
Handling LNTs
- Do not provide an audience – if you are absolutely sure your child is not having a LNT, simply walk out of the room. It’s no fun if no one’s watching, so the LNT will stop.
- Don’t try to reason, argue or persuade – attention and words reward negative behaviors, taking your one step farther toward setting up a hot temper as a personality trait.
- Don’t “kiss it better” – this teaches that you reward rage with love.
- Do not negotiate – this is also rewarding controlling behavior. If a child discovers that rage works well in manipulating parents, he may continue to use it in adulthood.
- Give clear, firm “nos”, and try to manage your own rage.
- Deal firmly with your child’s commands. Give a clear, firm message about commands being unacceptable as a way of getting what you want.
- Distinguish between an LNT and a DT. Sometimes this can be difficult because one can run into the other. i.e. You say no to a LNT command – this “no” could cause your child grief, sending him into a grief reaction. If you feel his grief is genuine, he will need help with his feelings. The message is “I won’t respond to commands, but I will help if you are in pain”.
3.11.2010
I spent my day caring for a sick little bear, who seems to have caught a little stomach bug. A confused and vomiting 3 year old is probably one of the saddest things I've ever seen. He seems to have been feeling better since his bath and is finally eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup. We are going to watch Little Bear and cuddle. It's a sure cure.
3.09.2010
Another beautiful March day! I ate the most amazing food at Kabob Palace and I can't wait to go back. I still miss my place in Alexandria though. I hung out with my friend Alicia and her babe and we went to the mall, where I got my new leather vans (cutest ever!), and some new clothes for Cohen at H&M. The kids rode the carousel too. Then we went to my cousin's house to let the kids play for the rest of the evening. I'm waiting for Cohen to fall asleep so I can run to the store and buy ingredients to make a dish for tomorrow's playdate, still not sure what I'm making! hmmmm.
3.08.2010
Today...
Cohen got into his stamps without my help, and got carried away with the ink pad.
Cohen had his first window all the way down car ride! He loved the breeze!
Cohen got his first bike, a cute metal radio flyer one!
Cohen had his first window all the way down car ride! He loved the breeze!
Cohen got his first bike, a cute metal radio flyer one!
New makeup!
As you know I hoard, well more like collect, worship, etc MAC Cosmetics. As soon as the new mineralize blush came out and I saw "Two Virtues" I knew I had to have it! So I ordered it, along with the #130 brush and the mineralize foundation spf 15. I've only ever used studio fix, I'm really excited to try this though I did a sample on my hand (hence the already dirty brush!) and I like what I see. I'm gonna run and apply my makeup right now!
Then we are going to attempt do some shopping for the new house via layaway!
xxo!
3.07.2010
Prettiest day of 2010 (so far)
I mean it. It was cool, and breezy. The kind where a light jacket was enough and it pains you to go inside. I wish it was like this all year around, 60 degrees and breezy. I woke up early in a great mood, it's like my body knew what waited for it outside. We went to the park, FINALLY it wasn't snowing or raining and the ground was dry enough. I met up with some friends and their little ones and Cohen got to run around for a bit. Then we head out to Cinema Cafe where I ate too much bad for you, and bad tasting food and we watched the Princess and the Frog. I was way skeptical, I didn't think it looked too interesting in the trailer but it was so cute, even though a little stereotypical haha. I loved the music, and I loved the voodoo scenes it was cool. Cohen got kind of bored though but he's a boy so I wasn't surprised.
Afterwards we went to BP and I vacuumed my car out... I know this is like "meh, no big deal" but to me it's a big deal cos I've never done it before! I always make everyone else do things like that for me, but I did it and now my car is clean cos of me and I feel good. Simple I know. My room is a mess though, but I'm sitting here with the windows open, listening to "Broadripple is Burning" by Margot and the Nuclear so and so's, and writing in my new planner. I used to not need one at all, but lately my mind has not been working and I've been forgetting everything so I went ahead and bought a black and white one from Target. I'm off to get started on this mess of a room, maybe...
xxo
Afterwards we went to BP and I vacuumed my car out... I know this is like "meh, no big deal" but to me it's a big deal cos I've never done it before! I always make everyone else do things like that for me, but I did it and now my car is clean cos of me and I feel good. Simple I know. My room is a mess though, but I'm sitting here with the windows open, listening to "Broadripple is Burning" by Margot and the Nuclear so and so's, and writing in my new planner. I used to not need one at all, but lately my mind has not been working and I've been forgetting everything so I went ahead and bought a black and white one from Target. I'm off to get started on this mess of a room, maybe...
xxo
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